Yeeeuck haw

Talitha and I were going to meet her former research advisor for drinks, as he was visiting the area. We decided to stop and get dinner at an unamed steakhouse, as it was the only restaurant nearby. I did not have a good experience. The atmosphere was.. well, cramped and a bit stuffy. You had the feeling that you were the cattle being herded into stalls for feeding. The food was, okay. I would rate it closed to Applebee's, except for the veggies. Applebee's has better veggies and salad, in my opinion.

There were a few things that I learned about the cowboy experience, which I can use if I ever open a similar restaurant.

1. Clean dishes aren't required; in fact they're forbidden. Do you really think that Tex has the time to clean off his mess kit when he's out there rasslin' broncos? I don't think so. If Tex can eat off of the remains of previous meals, so can your customers! If they complain, just bring them new dishes...with different food particles stuck to them!
   
2. Part of the cowboy code requires that if another cowboy is celebrating his birthday, all of the other cowboys have to come out and chant happy birthday at the top of their lungs. Sounds a little gimicky, right? Wrong. They end it with a whooping "YEEEHAW". Authentic.
   
3. Use "Pardner" a lot, and give "cowboy" lingo lessons at odd places all over the menu. This gives the visitor the impression he/she is having a nice old ranch hand (think Sam Elliott's character from the Big Lebowski) going over the menu. It's also a good education - did you know that "Firewater" is an acceptable term for "Whiskey"? I don't know what this "Whiskey" thing is, but it sounds dangerous. I'm glad the cowboys have to handle it.

Time to make the donuts!