Tuesday, May 25, 2004

I hate anti-spammers more than I hate spam

Okay, I didn't want to make for three broken hearted depressing posts in a row, so I thought for today I'd share a rant that I happened to puke out today at work. The following email text explains the title.


This is idiotic. So many people devote such a large portion to their lives to generate as much possible complaint traffic as technically possible whenever they receive an email they don't like. Take this report. I kept seeing these damn things today implicating CERIAS as a spammer. I finally searched through the whole bloody thing to see why they were named and I finally found this:

> SECURITY / PROTECTING YOURSELF ONLINE
> http://www.citibank.com/us/cards/cardserv/advice/index.htm
> There are simple steps you can take to protect yourself from fraud
> while online, such as never sending personal or financial information
> by email. (We'll never ask for it.) For more information, please
> review the recommendations of the U.S. Government and others at
> the following sites:
> http://www.nipc.gov/warnings/computertips.htm
> http://iisw.cerias.purdue.edu/home_computing/topten.php

Yup, you read it right. One single god damned link -- referenced by the company sending out the credit card avertisement. I'm really feeling like the SpamCop's and Blacklist's of the world are almost getting negligent in their ruthless, fruitless, pointless quest of trying to rid the world of spam by generating 15,000 million billion complaint emails for everyone piece of spam.

Consider this, the figure that was published recently said that 2/3rds of all email is now spam. So, lets say that for every 100 emails, 66 are spam. Now, lets pretend that 20% of the people who receive said spam are the same pain's in the ass that report it to one of the many idiot-box anti-spam orgs. That's approximately 13 sent in for complaints for every 66. So, keeping with out calculations here, if the average "spamcop" generates 5 complaint emails to EVERY BLEEDING entity extractable from the email, that's 58 emails. So now we have 158 total emails; 66 are spam, 58 are complaints about the spam, and the other 34 are legitimate. That means that only 20% of all email traffic is valid.

So, based on my very loose abuse of statistics, that means that spamcop and similar organizations generate almost as much garbage email as the spammers do!

Assholes.
</rant>

I need a drink.


^EOT